Losing Luke Brown and Seeking New Balance
This Sunday has been a change for me. Balance is such a key to happiness and we all seem to strive for that balance daily. In filmmaking – my main artistic medium, it’s about giving your all to a story and after recharging. There is more time spent in development, pre-production and post-production after filming. How you spend that time can do much to influence your productivity. My family, friends and my furry pack have always helped give me peace and recharge
We proudly had the ‘Brady Bunch’ pack consisting of three cats and three dogs. Almost two years ago we lost our elder dog Joplin. She lived a long 15.5 years, longevity for a Rottweiler. Two months ago, we lost Jameson, our eldest cat who grew from a shy, scared cat to a chill-relaxed adventurer. He passed after a long life and was joined by his brother Dmitri, whom I affectionately call the gray rat. Last Monday what we thought was a tooth infection turned out to be much worse. So Monday at the day’s end, he was laid to rest next to his brother.
My life was/is changing. Some who know me well, know that our silly, funny, happy boy Luke (Our youngest dog) has fought various life threatening illnesses for the last three years. We gladly sacrificed many social outings and gatherings so we could tend to and enjoy our borrowed time with our buddy. Monday night Luke’s journey started to get harder with the onset of some more serious neurological issues from his tumor on his head. As we treated him over the last 5 months his quality of life was very good. His attitude was always happy and adventuresome. He loved his walks in the woods and his couch cuddles. He never feared the hospital and remarkably brought joy to everyone there.
He was strong, brave and loyal, and I took lessons from him everyday. He had beat the odds so many times and after the second illness I prayed that his body would know health again, and for a while he did. But when in pre-production on MBF: Man’s Best Friend we discovered he had a cancerous tumor in his sinus. Here I was producing a story inspired by my ‘Mr. Brown,’ that showed the positive effects dogs can have on all of us, especially our wounded service men and my boy has what? I did love watching the incredible cast and crew work hard to capture our story, but my heart was breaking. It worked for my role of Paul, but with so much work to launch a film, it was an ironic shame that I could not fully enjoy it.
Soccer season this year also brought my 1st ever bone injury to my right wrist. That slowed my roll with typing and all activities requiring my right hand. So at the homestead we’ve got the one-arm gimp and tumor-head, taking care of each other and getting by. The new script LOST HEART was going slow, but I worked it with my buddy beside me. I often read aloud to him and while his feedback was limited, it always helped me. I know that a Fall shoot means a last paycheck for all our cast and crew before the holidays. But while Luke’s decline in health was slowed by treatment, I could see the direction of it. We knew the battle was for time, not a total win. There was no way I could leave my loyal buddy to go off and film. I know it was selfish when I looked at the whole but it’s what I had to do. I hope others will understand. If you don’t understand, I feel bad for you, because you’re missing something.
Luke had a wonderful past couple weeks that included walks at his favorite nature park, which was a Sat. morning ritual. A Sunday cookout with his grandma’s, which he loved so much. Last Monday is when we lost our Dmitri, and that is also when Luke had his emerging issues intensify. The location of the tumor and the meds used to help were also likely hindering him. Vision and coordination loss started to develop, with episodes lasting longer, more often. By Weds, the fight was real. So many times he had bounced back. His body was still so strong, so maybe – HOPE. His will was there to fight a bit longer but it was not meant to be. A great dinner of venison and rice followed by an unexpected walk to the park. (His idea) He had not wanted to go to the park, or perhaps could not, for weeks, but that night he did. He wanted to lay out in the warm breeze, listening and smelling the birds, squirrels, the wind in the pines, the softball game cheers and kids laughing. It was really nice.
What followed was a rough night and thankfully the next morning was the most beautiful Fall day. He was done fighting and was resting peacefully. We had a doctor come to the house and with cool breeze blowing in the windows, wrapped in his favorite blanket, head on his most beloved stuffed animal, he opened his good eye looking at his momma holding his head, daddy holding his paw – he put his head back down with full love and trust and left his broken body behind. He also left a huge hole in our hearts and daily life. Everyday was a smile, a tail wag and something silly that always reminded you not to take your setbacks to serious. He was an inspiration on how to live each day.
I’m happy that his frustration over a body that no longer wanted to respond was very brief. At the end he had peace with his two remaining sisters and his momma and daddy with him. I will miss all of our furry pack that we’ve lost but Luke taught me so many lessons that I will hold onto. My final polish on the ‘LOST HEART’ script as I read him each line, was almost done. I had stopped to devote my full time and attention to him. I slept with him on the floor for the last few nights because his vanishing sight made our brave boy nervous. I’m sad but filled with new motivation moving ahead. We never took any of his good days for granted. I will carry that into my future day-to-day where I do cherish each interaction, be it business, friendship or both.
I KNOW how bad many of you WANT it. What is IT to you? Expression of your art, words, craft? Fame, money and appreciation? I’m here to tell you, don’t sacrifice everything. I recall being tethered to a pager back in the day. It always came first. I see that behavior in the upstarts of today with cell phones. It’s like a self-imposed tether – like what people wore after legal trouble. It’s like people have forgotten that the phone is a tool that works for you, not the other way around. Gather a ‘TO DO’ list and do all your phone and/or computer work all at one time. Aspiring actors/filmmakers can get requests from all time zones often bringing the Hollywood pressure of dangling opportunities. Whereas someone “needs something like yesterday” only to have something sit on a desk for weeks. What was sacrificed to get that summary to that desk to sit for weeks? A sports game of a sibling or child? Storytelling around a kitchen table with family? Hanging with lifelong friends?
Since I was a young boy I loved telling stories. Upon discovering that a lucky few could actually create make-believe as a job, cemented by direction, gave me my dream. But I could never sacrifice everything else for that dream. I did not move to Hollywood, NYC or any of the other places that people always said I had to go to in order to MAKE IT. Why? I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE what I do as an artist but I did not love it more than the people in my life. So, a battle to compromise and do both was and IS a battle worth fighting for. I want to create memorable stories and characters in timeless movies but I don’t need to climb onto any A lists to feel accomplished. Many climb very high only to find themselves alone. Think on all this.
We’re adjusting to life whereas our past stories, memories and lessons are what we have left of Luke. Next week LOST HEART will get the final polish. The wrist is almost healed and getting stronger. I look back and feel like I did right by my buddy as he would have for us. I feel full of grace, compassion and appreciate for life and those we share it with. It’s again why you should examine your circle and remove negative, toxic elements and be the change you want to see. Lot of drama in life amplified by social media and 24/7 ‘Breaking News’ environment. Unplug. Listen. Communicate. Laugh. Be loyal like a DOG to those around you. Trust, is a learned behavior and if you’re a tribal leader of artists – take this role serious. Don’t let the lure of shortcuts hurt or kill what could be lifelong friendships. Ask anyone who has joined a team of CDI artists in telling a story and you’ll know what I’m talking about. Beyond making our days, I want to make lifelong memories for cast and crew. Laughter and Love.
Next week I will have more updates on the films. THE CHRIST SLAYER, WILD FAITH, MBF all have amazing things happening. We’re focused on finishing these stories and bringing them to audiences. We’ll be moving into official development on ‘LOST HEART’ for Spring 2019 this month. I want to continue to try and move people’s human-emotional compass in a positive direction. I’ll be making some great announcements moving forward but today I want to just sit on these words. I’m sorry if you’re here more for the film updates versus listening to my ramblings. Those updates will return next week. Thank you everyone for joining me here to share a coffee and listening.
Be good to one another. Love one another.
DJ
Burbank Bound and Project Recap
Welcome friends. It’s the labor day weekend and I’m doing some one-hand typing to update you all. I cracked my wrist in a soccer match and so my splint has been replaced by a cast. If all looks good next week it might be back to the splint for the last few weeks. It has given me a little insight to what it feels like to have a disability. I’m lucky because it will heal quickly. Others deal with a lifetime of hinderance but we do adapt quite quickly. Let’s look at some updates in our film world.
THE CHRIST SLAYER artwork is being worked on. I will be looking into interviews and initial theatrical set ups. I should also look into some BTS extras. It will be exciting to have all three of the trilogy films in the marketplace. Music and sound design is underway and color correction will start shortly.
WILD FAITH is going to play in Burbank, CA next Saturday Sept. 8th at 1:30pm at the AMC Burbank. We’re putting the pieces in play for the home video release and working towards the TV series. I’m looking forward to seeing many old friends and associates and meeting new ones. Please join us if you can.
MAN’S BEST FRIEND – editing is in full swing both on the film and first teaser. We’ve been sharing photos weekly on the Facebook page so feel free to join us each week. Also on this fine weekend if your thinking about adding a furry member to your family – adopt. Visit your local shelter and bring some love into your household.
I’ve been working hard on the script LOST HEART and I’m closing in on the final pages. I got to do a review on Friday and it’s really heartfelt and fun. Rich characters and all set in Northern Michigan. I would like to film this at the end of the year. Let’s see if the pieces fall into place.
I wish you all a safe and fun holiday weekend and a productive week ahead.
DJ
Ancestry, New Awards and Announcements
Good morning. I want to welcome new readers from Belize and Qatar to our little weekly circle. Lots of interesting things to discuss but while I’m welcoming people here it makes me think on ANCESTRY. For Christmas we decided to do our DNA test and see what our family history actually is. Here is my breakdown – EUROPE WEST – likely German 46%, Great Britain 33%, Ireland/Scotland/Wales 16%, Europe East 2%, Finland/NW Russia 1% and for trace amounts under 1% – Iberian Peninsula (Spain/Portugal), Asia South (India and surrounding region), Europe South (Greek) and Scandinavian (Viking). So I’ve enjoyed discovering the trace amounts and think it is completely amazing that we’re so connected. This kind of enlightened knowledge can make the mindset of people more unified. I knew the first three but I’m happy to know what else lies in the past family tree.
This week also was great for writing. I’ve been working on the script for what will likely be our next CDI feature film. I’ve been sitting out on the patio surrounded by hop vines and sipping coffee. The story is starting to really flow and I’m excited about where it’s all going. This week will include more time spent with the imagination.
It was a week that saw a few good meetings at the fort. A few new meetings including a local director. Always fun to get to know someone and see where their journey is taking them. Also had Curran Jacobs out this week. He’s one of my co-stars in MBF: Man’s Best Friend. He also resenting became the World Champion for Catch Wrestling, the premium style pre-WW2. It’s making a come back and I’ve enjoyed watching the matches on SNAKE PIT’s Event site. Curran was battled MUCH bigger opponents. I watched these monsters go from no respect to major respect. That is because respect is earned. He earned respect. That is what we must do in all our engagements. I’ve seen in our industry circles people with a bit of success who withhold or fail to give others respect. They view them as unimportant and with little to nothing to contribute. I respect everyone until they give me a reason not to. From top to bottom on our cast/crews EVERYONE is important. I’ve observed people acting this way to others and that alone is reason to keep them at an arm’s length. Life is too short to have toxic people in your circle even if they have access to something helpful. No when to say no, because that is what will define you and your work.
FILM UPDATES
As the holiday season is around the corner we’re looking to market our trilogy, getting people to enjoy Forty Nights and Chasing the Star before we release part 3 The Christ Slayer. Part 2 just won a silver Crown Award at the ICVM this month. The theatrical trailer for part 3 released a few weeks ago. If this looks interesting please do go back and watch part 1 and part 2. This films could be enjoyed if you never stepped one foot in a church or never cracked a bible. It is the age of style of the parable of telling stories that gives something back to the audience.
WATCH/BUY ‘FORTY NIGHTS’
WATCH/BUY ‘CHASING THE STAR’
THE CHRIST SLAYER – trailer
The film is having music and sound design work done and I’m looking forward to that. Our composer Dennis Therrian will bring forth a powerful and inspirational score.
‘WILD FAITH’
We’re going to be playing on the big screen at the AMC in Burbank, CA on Sept 8th – please do join us and take a trip back to the 1800’s.
http://www.itsmyseat.com/events/900979.html
We’ve got some exciting things happening for the home video release and things are developing for the TV series. It is still too early to discuss it but it is all very exciting. I would like to see the TV series go into production back half of 2019.
‘MBF‘ is all on the computers and editing is ready to start in full. We’ve got great ideas for the teaser trailer and will have one to release in the fall. It was an amazing experience and I look forward to inviting this team back together. We’ve just released our first official still and we’ll be releasing 1-2 a week on our FB social media site. Follow us here! Thank you to all the military and dog supporters who have joined us.
https://www.facebook.com/MBFthemovie/
Additionally I have heard that ‘ASHES OF EDEN’ will be releasing in another country but I will let Mr. Shane Hagedorn announce that once the ink is dry. This film can also be found on Amazon Prime if you’ve not watched it. I really do love the role I played in that film.
Today we have another soccer match. Last week we played a tough squad in the blazing heat and won soundly. This is a good kick off to the second half of the season. I do enjoy the battle each weekend and the second half of the season leading into fall is my favorite. This week I’m looking to bottle the FRANKENBERRY WINE because I need my carboy for the upcoming wine. We have lots of wild grapes growing around the garden. I’ve been researching recipes and I’m excited about trying something new. Thanks to the squirrels we have a few vines of either pumpkin or squash growing around the yard. We had to also shut down the access by a woodchuck under the office porch. I think he has moved on. I look forward to the week ahead – more writing, more development, more post work and more enjoying time with people. Have a great week and be good to one another.
DJ
Class Reunions, Chasing the Star awards and Creating New Projects
I want to welcome new followers/readers from Ireland, The Philippines and Australia. It has been a long eventful week and the weekend was even more busy. This weekend was our high school class reunion – a two-day event that allowed us to share a laugh, a story and a drink with our former classmates. It was an enjoyable visit and as a whole I’m happy that many are happy and healthy. I had a bevy of close friends unable to attend due to life. I was never a huge fan of high school. I had several school friends, many of those I still see to this day. I was grateful that I got to spend three summers overseas playing/coaching soccer in Denmark. It was always a true culture shock to return back to high school in the US after those trips. I spent lots of my school days writing scripts, storyboarding and organizing after school video shoots. But it was fun to catch up with my classmates.
This weekend at the 2018 ICVM Crown Awards in Nashville our film “Chasing the Star” was being given award consideration for Best Film. It was represented by our distributor BMG and we won silver (2nd place) so we’ll do some PR on that and congrats to our cast and crew.
I also want to give congrats to Curran Jacobs one of my friends/co-stars (MBF) who fought multiple battles this weekend to earn the World Catch Wrestling Championship. Many know that I’ve been involved and enjoyed the martial arts for many years. It is exciting to see everything happening today but I’m happy I don’t make a living getting punched and kicked in the head.
Speaking of MBF – we’ll be releasing some of the official screen captures soon. The film is going to be powerful and engaging and I’m excited to see that move down the line. Talks over the first teaser trailer have started some maybe in a few weeks. I’m also going to look within the MBF family to see if I have someone to hire to assemble the BTS footage.
This week I’ll also be doing investor updates on the projects which is a regular thing. We have lots to report and I’ll be giving some exciting updates regarding Forty Nights, Chasing the Star, Wild Faith and upcoming The Christ Slayer.
I’ve also been working on what will likely be the next CDI film shot. The working title of the film is called LOST HEART. I’m enjoying spending some time daily working the script. Some location scouting has begun – just looking at possible areas to shoot. I will say that the next film is planning to shoot in Michigan again. Follow http://www.cdiproductions.com for updates.
I also want to have a sit down soon over our website which is looking good but we have even more exciting directions to take it in. I’m going to cut this short as I have a list of things to do before our early soccer game today. I will also have to watch the World Cup finals in a few. I hope you all have a great wrap up to your week and a productive week ahead.
Be good to one another.
DJ
Getting to Know the CDI System and Project Updates
Good morning! I’m writing you from the deck of my patio that has hop vines wrapping around all it. (The pic above from the spring) The squirrels are busy picking the last of the ripe mulberries and birds are singing while playing in the bird baths. Without question the coffee sits beside me flooding me with the wonderful taste of hazelnut. If I cannot find a coffee sponsor in the next few years I just going to open a coffee business. I have to try harder with some of the local Michigan roasters.
The office fridge might have seen its last days. It’s almost fully defrosted and we’ll see once we plug it back in if it lives. If it’s dead I’ll be getting a more fuel-efficient replacement. The one now was from my buddies basement where we would skip class at MSU, drink beer, play pool and listen to jams. It’s been a worthy chiller of beverages so we will see.
This week was a hot, humid wave that’s not really to my liking. It was followed by just a few extremely beautiful days consisting of warm air and cool winds. During the heat wave I got a lot of writing and paperwork done while watching the various nations go at it on the World Cup soccer field. Let’s look at a few of the movie updates.
I’m happy to say that the domestic home-video deal on the 3rd film in The Quest Trilogy – THE CHRIST SLAYER is signed. It will join parts 1 & 2 at Bridgestone Multimedia Group. The Christmas theatrical will be followed by an Easter home video release. I’m excited to have all three out there together which will reveal more about the overall storyline. Interweaving of the story arc goes through all three stories/movies. IF you have seen part 1 (Forty Nights) or part 2 (Chasing the Star) please do leave a review on amazon or IMDB and leave what you took away from it. I think people unaware that it was a trilogy felt part 2 kind of left them hanging – well it was meant to. The next few months will see things heating up PR-wise on part 3 with more BTS and still photos releasing. It really is an epic way to end the trilogy. I know Dennis Therrian will do another incredible score. The VFX work coming in is just incredible, not surprising as their previous work included BLACK SAILS (One of my favorite series) and ROGUE ONE just to name a few. They built models and created digital matte paintings just for this film. This film was a really cool step for us as a company allowing us to use as many VFX shots as we did. I have director Nathaniel Nose to thank for all that.
I will use that example in discussing development work at CDI. I’m trying to make more time to sit down with people in our field. Directors, actors and those trying to produce content. From the earliest days of CDI it was about bringing cards to the table. CDI is an actor/producers company looking to tell powerful stories. Currently we have momentum behind my scripts – distributors like the content and final product. Talent loves the style and depth of the characters and situations. We also have some talented writers within our ranks. ADVICE – IF you’re bringing a script to the table the best thing is to also bring the money.
BUT THIS IS THE HARDEST PART! Yes. I know this. After many years in this industry – a truth is – every NEW variable could lead to new advancements OR disaster. The wrong crew or cast can be devastating to the overall quality of the final product. I’ve been scrutinized because I would rather pay a broader crew base a modest wage versus overpay a name talent, at the expense of the crew. It’s a difference of opinion in business models and a happy medium does exist. I feel a larger name can move more initial units but a bad movie with a larger name will also die off quickly. I had to turn off a multimillion dollar film lately. It was long, plodding (nice camerawork) but after an hour plus we still had 45 min plus minutes to go. We didn’t care about any of the characters. That’s the result of either a poor script or just bad chemistry as you know they had a huge crew base. I’m saying that I would rather have a modest, long-term success with a good movie vs a flash hit with a bad film. How long before it gets lost in the shuffle of bad films? What do you have to show for all that hard work years later?
OK. I went slightly off topic. But anyone new is a wild variable, and therefore a risk. Skill is only part of the equation whereas personality/character is the other big factor. Do they play well with others? Positive? Respectful? I’ve had others say “so and so” is a great artists but grumpy or aloof and that’s just how they are. Well, they can go be that somewhere else. I have reduced all this down to a simple saying – Always be a sail and never an anchor.
So with these sit downs – I’ll be getting to know people and informally evaluating to see if they would ever work well into our system. The CDI system. What does that mean? Well…these films were not the result of some money thrown together to rush together a film – perhaps with no accountability. I shudder when I hear of all the films being done with no script or the script is just an afterthought. I recall one time an actor friend telling me they were on set and the director was having them write the script on the spot. He called it interesting and I called it incompetence. I guess it was both. But here we’re taking on investment capital and we must give best efforts. This company was founded on best efforts and striving to always be better. CDI today is built upon its earliest endeavors. Future CDI endeavors will be built on current endeavors. This is a tradition not a hobby. Not a film challenge but an evolution. This is a business that works in deep creative waters. My expectations of myself and the producers/directors are high. My expectations of the cast and crews are high. If you are not serious about the process and the end result – off the deck. No point in trying to sign up here.
On set of the thriller “Bestseller”
Now some people just don’t know any different but once shown a better way they are willing to adapt and thrive in a more structured endeavor. Others can try to drag negativity or bad habits from previous experiences but I’ve been doing this a long time. If you start to feel like that anchor, stating obvious problems versus presenting viable solutions, being a sail – I’m going to drop you at the next island. Lose your professionalism and respect and the immediate gangplank walk could be your fate. I don’t fire often but I’m more than willing to do what needs to be done. That said, every firing has been a failing on my part. A failure to properly evaluate someone before a hiring or just failure to lead that person to a better way of co-existing on a film set. Management is something I enjoy because I’ve had the opportunity to create the environment that I want to work in. The environment that allows the best creative juices to flow.
I guess in summary – you could be involved in a CDI association or collaboration IF you have your own funds and seek a machine (production unit) that runs like a CDI film. Now $ still rules so if you bring a majority of the production funds, unless decided differently in contract, we consult or bring options to arising issues. That controlling entity makes the final decisions. Those decisions need to be made with wisdom and balance or trouble can quickly develop. I think I make fair decisions and I’ll say, I’ve made unpopular decisions. But I think it’s about working to be able to see the big picture. Not being drawn in by the ego into trying to force something to fit that does not. Don’t say yes to things that should be told no.
I had productive talks this past week with an experienced director talking about possible CDI collaboration. Our management at Collective Development Inc. was recommended to him. We shared mutual Hollywood horror stories usually stemming from fast-talking, car salesmen-like distributors and wanna be producers, mucking things up. Much of this proposed collaboration will just depend on pros, cons and schedules. I have another past producer collaborator getting close to having his next financing. He wants my involvement again. Evaluate: Content, Script, Schedule… All these variables when kept in-house tend to run very smooth. Adding these outside variables are where most issues lie. Most of the rough waters are in the associated projects but that is also where collaboration exists. But make sure they are a good fit. So I have more phone calls and meetings this week to network and get to know a few folks working hard telling their stories.
WILD FAITH – Lots of exciting happenings here. The home video deal is being worked on while we discuss the option of also launching a TV series. I am really pushing hards on this as I love the character I play. I love the world we built. I love the talent (both sides of camera) and know we would incorporate lots of Michigan talent into the various shows. We’ve been working to set up some additional theatrical showings and we wanted to look at showings in LA and/or NYC. The costs involved were steep and for me I’m watching the bottom line versus the red carpet strut. But I’m happy to say we’ll be screening at the AMC in Burbank as part of the invited line up at the Burbank International Film Festival. I think I’m going to make the trip and my LA-area amigos can finally see one of our films on the big screen. It plays great theatrically and I will enjoy the conversation with film friends after. You too can join us on Sept 8th in Burbank. Read about it here-
https://www.prlog.org/12716952-west-coast-premiere-of-wild-faith.html
Our last film Man’s Best Friend is having the post materials organized as editing is about to begin in full. The opening credit sequence was heavily discussed and that is being worked on. We will also start having more solid talks about the 1st teaser trailer. Also trying to get the right color correction on the first stills before we start releasing those. The story is in puzzle form and soon we’ll start to assemble the film.
I’ve really been enjoying the writing as of late. I’ve taken a few good script concepts and I’m infusing/weaving that into what will likely be our fall film. It’s been refreshing to be back into the imagination and putting it to page. Some location scouting and ground work is also being done. I will say that the initial script concept was to be shot in another state. I was so happy with our last crew that I am revamping the script to Michigan. I’m sincerely thinking we can convince a few of the MBF crew to return:)
Well, it’s a beautiful day and I might spend a little time engaging in some writing. We will also likely go walk a flea market. I love what you can find at those things. I often find props or things that a story might hinge around. No soccer today as we have a BYE week before starting the second half of the season. Next weekend I have a class reunion which will be interesting. I did actually see a Michigan-based, non-CDI project casting that caught my eye. I asked a few questions and we’ll see if any chemistry exists. If not, I’m happy to wait until fall. I do have a script to finish.
Be good to one another!
DJ
